hell, just moments ago I was panicking hard enough to physically hurt myself in pure desperation, to do something, whether it was to pass out from sheer pain or brute-force fix whatever stupid problem I have that's causing the infernal noise to play on repeat in my ear
I'd probably have kept doing it, too, if I didn't realize quickly that it wasn't going to help either of those things
so meanwhile I sit here at 7am unable to sleep despite trying for hours, when I still have to work today and probably wind up damaging my hearing more for all I know
but I can't get away from it, and realizing that makes me panic so hard